Emotional Journal Entry and Song
The following was written by Diane Riegal---
September 17, 2001 .. 6 days after the attack. (journal entry)
The mood on the Metro North train is quite somber. There's no need
to guess what is running through the minds of these concrete jungle
commuters. Our first footstep on the platform of the train station
brings us eye to eye with one of those desperate "missing persons"
signs. This one is for Carmen Rivera -- a bright and beautiful young
woman; one of America's "up and coming" working in the South Tower of the majestic Twin Towers. We didn't see just one poster of her ... it
would seem as far as your eye could see Carmen's smiling face was placed
with love and care on every available post. I could only imagine the
grieving relatives and friends who placed each poster up with a great
measure of hope, faith and prayer.
I've traveled to the city many times. This was my hometown. I've been a
concrete jungle commuter myself. I've elbowed with the best (and the
worst) of the straphanger crowd but this day is different. This is
the first day back to work for many after the attack ... the attack that
shook our very being. The mood is somber; the atmosphere grim.
Newspapers lay on empty seats with those graphic photos of the plane
making fiery impact. The pictures cause us to gasp, still we are
compelled to look. I wonder what we will encounter when we reach
our destination. I wonder what that first view of Manhattan will be
like from the New Jersey approach. I was 7 years old when the ground
was broken to build these symbols of American prosperity and ingenuity.
Now, 35 years later, the ground has been broken again but by the hands
of evil. We are headed for ground zero.
My eyes catch the first glimpse of the now changed skyline and my heart
sinks. A gaping hole; a void; a missing piece where once stood NYC's
mightiest of skyscrapers. Smoke still billows from what is now
effectively the final resting place for thousands of innocent people. It
all seems so surreal.
The streets are eerily quiet. This is not a typical NYC work day. No
throngs of people bustling on crowded sidewalks. I don't even hear a car horn blow on the street. We set off to try and minister
to families who are trying to deal with the probable loss of a loved
one. We want to hand out a stuffed bear with a message on it that
people are praying for them during this most difficult time. We want
to give out tapes with songs of encouragement on it, to offer a hug, and to offer some hope through faith in Jesus. That is what we originally set off to do but God has other plans. Doesn't He always?
It is difficult to find a place to meet up with the grieving families. It is
understandable the city was trying to shelter them from
a barrage of people. So we walk ... and walk.....closer to ground
zero where we meet up with police officers from all walks of life who
are guarding the streets. Ground zero is cordoned off to outsiders.
16 acres of prime NYC real estate roped off, barricaded, and chaotic --
it is all a crime scene.
Wherever we walk our eyes meet with a wall of missing persons
posters. They are the pleas and cries from grieving family members and
friends. I read as many as I can. These were all precious lives.
Mothers, fathers, aunts, uncles, grandmas, grandpas, sisters, brothers,
friends. This was America's best and brightest -- many of who were
reaching the pinnacle of their careers I'm sure. My eyes meet up with
Carmen Rivera's poster... the same poster that we encountered at the
train station at the beginning of the trip. I try to imagine how many
tears were shed with each poster that was hung. Five thousand lives.
Five thousand stories. This is real life as unreal as it might seem.
We never do meet up with those families that we so want to pray with
and lend some encouragement too. God has other plans for us. I believe
he wanted us to encounter the good despite the bad situation. He wanted
to place our eyes on the roses that were coming from the ashes.
We see NYC at its best. Brother helping brother. Stranger reaching out to stranger. People praying. Signs boldly proclaiming " In God We Trust" and meaning it. America seemingly was back on her knees looking upward.
While NYC was attacked by terrorists it is also being taken
over by an army of people with a need and desire to help out in any way
they can. The city that has long been criticized for being cold and
harsh is now softer and more compassionate. Throngs of people cheer
and clap for any of the fireman, policeman or rescue workers who would
drive by. These heroes receive their acknowledgment with humility. We
see the profound sadness and disbelief at what they had seen and
were dealing with at ground zero. We pass a few fire stations close to
the sight that are in mourning for their 300+ brothers that had perished
underneath the pile of concrete and twisted steel trying to save others.
It is a different place forever changed in a NY minute on that fateful
mid September day. We give our bears to rescue workers, firemen, and
ambulance drivers. Pastor even gives one to an elderly Asian woman who
is begging on the street. Anybody who looks like they need a small token of encouragement is a recipient. A NYC fireman says that he needs the encouragement as he takes one of our tapes and "good news bears".
Joshua, a 13 year old with us, gives his cherished stuffed animal to a woman waiting in the subway station. She is moved by his gesture. Joshua is equally moved. We give bears out at St. Vincent's Hospital where an appreciative hospital worker promises to give them to children on the ward. In our attempt to give to people, we meet up with so many who offer us drink and food, like Jose, a volunteer worker on Pier 50, who embraces us and our mission.
We visit America's oldest mission on Lafayette street which is in close proximity to ground zero. This is now a relief center for the hundreds of now weary rescue workers where they could take a shower and get something to eat.
There is evidence of Christ throughout this mission and I'm sure a lot
of rescue workers are receiving spiritual nourishment here as well.
The kind folks at the mission listen to our cause and offer directions, food and water to us as well. The generosity we experience is almost overwhelming .. after all, we had set out to give to others. Now they are giving to us. We meet up with a wonderful volunteer Red Cross staff stationed at a NYC school near the site.
They too embrace us and our cause as they receive our good news bears
and music tapes. They offer us directions, water, and even apples for
our journey..more strangers wanting to give to us. Can you imagine
that? New York is reaching out. America is reaching out. Buildings
might have been leveled and lives lost but the spirit of unity, love,
and concern was raised high.
Our journey ends at the Executive Headquarters for the Salvation Army.
We still have backpacks full of good news bears to distribute. As we
turn the corner the sight was amazing. Scores of volunteers are
emptying trucks and pallets of food, sheets, water, diapers .. you name
it .. it is there. The donations are clogging 14th street. There is
a sign on the building stating "Only Monetary Donations Taken". They
had reached capacity storage space for anything else. It is amazing. Our
eyes are fixed on a tractor trailer full of donations from Oklahoma
City -- a city that knows all too well the devastating effect of a
horrific occurrence such as this. We find a gentleman who receives
our good news bears on behalf of the Salvation Army saying that they
were not getting a lot of donations of kid's things. Our bears find a
home. That is good news.
We will never know what the final resting place for those bears were,
but I know my God ... and I know that He will use them and their message to reach the ones who need some encouragement during this time. It seems such a small thing as we look at the enormity of this situation but God often uses the ordinary to do the extraordinary. Just look at all those volunteers that we encountered. Ordinary men and women extending themselves in an extraordinary way.
I heard a lot of conversations on the street while making our journey.
All were related to the attack. Some had a political bent, some had a
religious slant, while most people just conversed to share their
disbelief and search for answers. I will say that one young man's
conversation will stay with me for a long time. He looked at the ruins
and at the change in attitude since this tragedy occurred. With an air
of negativity he then stated, "In a year from now everyone will forget
about this and things will be back to the way they were".
I don't think so. We've been forever changed. There is no turning
back. There is only turning upwards.
diane riegal
9/17/01
*After journaling some of my thoughts about that day, I sat down to write the song "Remember Us"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxHytCwb7bc&feature=related
Verse 1
I have seen the dark of evil
I have heard a distant storm
Felt a trembling in my spirit
As I faced the cold of dawn
What I once thought strong now crumbled
In an empty cloud of dust
Will we stand with the forgiven
Remember us
Verse 2
Hear the voices of Your children
As they cry out on the street
In the ruins and the ashes
Many miles upon their feet
Searching through the haze for answers
And on knees with eyes above
Will we stand with the forgiven
Remember us
Chorus 1
Remember us for we are weary
Living in a world of pain
Remember us each time we walk away
Come and take us home again
And every time we put our faith in things
We should not trust
Will we stand with the forgiven
Remember us
Verse 3
I see a child without a mother
I see a father with no son
I see a picture of a smiling face
Have you seen this missing one
And through every tear and broken heart
Oh how we need Your love
Will we stand with the forgiven
Remember us
Chorus 2
Remember us for we have wandered
Down a road so far from You
Remember us and open up our eyes
To Your mercy and Your truth
And every time we put our faith in things
We should not trust
Will we stand with the forgiven
Remember us
(BRIDGE)
It was on a tree You spoke these words of truth
Father please forgive they know not what they do
Verse 4
Do Your tears fall from the heavens
As You look down from above
I know all You ever want is just to show
Your grace and love
But I wonder how long will it be
Before You say enough
Will we stand with the forgiven
Remember us
CCLI Song No. 4095831
© 2001 East River Street Music
Diane Riegal
